I’ve missed you.
Really I have.
And it’s not because of lists long or decked halls that has kept me away.
Truth be told it’s been in the tremblings to breathe in and exhale slow…between rounds of strep, pneumonia, tonsillitis, my little man’s surgery and a few colds later that I’ve thought of you through tears under starry nights.
And I promised I’d write. I really did. And I knew you’d understand this unraveling of strength as reserves relinquished to the never ending urgent needs only white coats in hospitals understand.
But I’m here, I am. And we survived tattered and I never felt more cared for than I have in these the weakest of days. And never did I learn more than then that it really is ok to ask for prayers a zillion times over for the same thing.
Because one time or another we’ve all been there. Or we’ll all get there.
The place where we need a Christmas miracle.
Maybe it happens so often around this time of year in all our scurrying around to make ready for the King about to enter this fragile frail world, that our little “Bethlehems” become broken. And us in our searching for an inn with vacancies to rest our weary souls, stumble upon a stable instead.
Something quite different than our wildest dreams and yet more than enough is found there. For we realize the God-size hole in all of us can only be filled by the babe in a manger.
In the middle of all this circus craziness, I paid bills to find we had just enough for the month. Nothing more and nothing less. I whispered it softly into my just-slumbering-about-to-graduate-husband’s ear how it was time for a miracle.
And then it happened.
THE WEEK he finished school, a call came in for a job he’d casually thrown in an application for “just in case.” And to this girl’s giddy amazement he’s found work just in time. For it’s at the desperate edges of our lives when we most need a miracle that God delights to meet us.
In all our ninth hours, God shows up.
Emanuel is truly God with us.
Our Christmas miracle. And I can’t stop singing “O Come O Come Emanuel” because somehow I sense this is only the beginning.